Science Fiction

Star Trek Deep Space 9 3: Bloodletter, K.W. Jeter

2015-02-03 18.50.17This is a story with clear, helpful advice that we could all follow to achieve happiness in life.  It tells the tale of the smarmy Dr. Bashir who is desperate to be romantically involved with the fierce Major Kira, who thinks he is an idiot and wants nothing to do with him.  In order to win her round, he followed this simple procedure:

  • He found out she was going on a solo voyage (the reason for the voyage is really irrelevant)
  • He smarmed his way into accompanying her on this solo voyage even though she would rather have had anyone on board instead of him
  • His plan came unstuck when the two of them got stuck in a wormhole, and the only solution was to fire her bit of the ship to where it needed to go while his bit of the ship stayed stuck in the wormhole
  • He realises that her bit of the ship has a stowaway who is intent on killing her (the reason is unimportant)
  • While she is desperately trying to outwit the psychopath, he makes regular skype calls to tell her she is being hunted, as though she didn’t already know. He then wastes her time and endangers her further as she has to keep telling him not to come and rescue her while she could have been dealing with the psychopath
  • He then persuades the aliens who run the wormhole to send him to the end of time (no, I didn’t understand why either) where he finds both her skeleton and that of the psychopath
  • He then persuades them to bounce him forward in time so he is on the spaceship with Kira
  • Together they outwit the psychopath and at the end of it she agrees to go for a drink with him.

It’s a simple formula – I suggest you try it.

Star Trek Deep Space 9 3: Bloodletter, K.W. Jeter, Harper Collins, 1993 

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